Closet Space
by Taliya
Summary: -Oneshot- "You're just coming out of the closet now, Mustang?" he sniggered, bent over as he clutched his sides. No spoilers, rated for Roy's mouth.


Fullmetal Alchemist characters, settings, and ideas do not belong to me but to Arakawa Hiromu.

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Closet Space

By Taliya

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First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye walked briskly down the hallway, composing mental lists of what needed to be done by whom. She held a small dossier of papers in her arms, documents delivered by the post from Lieutenant General Grumman that required Colonel Roy Mustang's immediate attention. She flipped through them quickly, noting the number of signatures she needed to procure from the man. As she neared her team's office, she blinked and paused, wondering what exactly was different. It took her a moment to realize that the office, with its doors open to admit guests, was completely silent.

Brow furrowed in simmering anxiety, her hand instinctively grasped the handle of her gun as she cautiously peered around the door jamb. The office looked as though it had been hurriedly abandoned. Several sheets of papers had fluttered to the floor near Havoc and Breda's desks, and a pen lay uncapped on Falman's usually impeccable desk. She narrowed her eyes in thought as she surveyed the scene. _What happened?_ Genuinely worried now, she silently set her papers on her desk and performed a swift but efficient search of the office that yielded none of the missing persons. There seemed to have been no struggle, no readily apparent reason for her fellow officers' abandonment of their duties.

A soft step from the door had her spinning on her heel, gun at the ready and pointed squarely at the intruder as her heartbeat surged in her ears. Edward Elric's wide gold eyes stared back at her, his expression one of startled wariness.

"Edward," she sighed, dropping her superior from her sights. She tucked her weapon into the holster and willed her racing heart to slow. "I didn't hear you come in. Where is everyone?"

"Chuui," the State Alchemist acknowledged. "I'm looking for them." A quick sweep of his eyes of the empty office indicated that he too was searching for their missing teammates, and there was a sulky edge to his voice.

"Do you know what happened to them?" she asked urgently. _If Taisa is hurt…_

Her increasingly stormy thoughts must have expressed themselves on her face, for the blond was quick to reassure her. "They're fine! Nothing's happened to them! They're just hiding from me."

Disbelief caused an eyebrow to ratchet high up her forehead. "Hiding from you." The question came out more as a flat statement.

Edward snorted, half amused and half exasperated. "Yeah. I was supposed to find the bastard first, but it looks like everyone but me has found him by now."

"Do you require assistance?" she asked, and there was a faint amount of steely bite in her voice, an idea of the situation forming in her head.

The young Alchemist shook his head. "No, I'll be fine on my own, thanks. I'll find them." Then he snickered, shooting her an immensely amused glance. "But the look on his face if you did…"

Riza watched with curiosity as Edward quietly stalked out of the office, making nary a noise at his passing. It was quite a feat, considering the fact that he had an automail foot. She observed with nearly undisguised fascination as his expression changed from casual openness to intense concentration. He slunk out the doorway and into the hall, and the lieutenant quietly followed to the door, eyes tracking him as he paused beside each door, as if listening carefully for something. His movements reminded her of a sleek jungle cat, all sinuous and lethal grace as it hunted after prey.

With a jolt she realized that was exactly what Edward was doing: hunting. His entire being was currently focused on finding her absconding teammates, and it always amazed her to see such intensity and drive in one so young. With a small, rare smile she shook her head and turned back into the empty office with the intention of finishing some paperwork, confident in the Fullmetal Achemist's ability to find the renegades. _Just a bunch of little boys regardless of their age,_ she thought indulgently as her eyes began to skim through the words on the top of the first document she picked up.

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He skulked silently along the hallway, ignoring the strange looks he garnered. The attention was something he had reluctantly become used to after obtaining his State licensure—not because he was short for his age, because he most certainly was _not_. He figured he struck an eye-catching figure due to his unusual aurulent coloring and his now-(in?-)famous black and red outfit. A small scowl marred his expression, for he was fairly sure he was now the last one to find the damned colonel. The rules had been simple: one person hid, when someone found him, they had to join in hiding. The first one to find the original hider was the one who got to hide next. Edward gritted his teeth. He refused to believe he was the last one to find that slacker colonel. His search methodology had been based on his knowledge of the man, and so he had sought out places where he thought Mustang would have picked first. When those turned up empty, he proceeded on to less and less likely hiding spots.

He had searched the bathrooms—both male and female—various officers' offices, the cafeteria, the kitchens—he had snickered at the thought of the man hiding in the freezer or refrigerator—and still nothing. After searching seemingly every room on the fifth level (Mustang's office floor), Edward was currently reduced to searching the various janitorial and electrical closets. He stalked up to the very last one he had not yet inspected and yanked the door open.

Edward jumped back instinctively and stared as Mustang's entire team, minus Riza and plus Alphonse, tumbled out of the closet—literally—before bursting into raucous cackles. "You're just coming out of the closet _now_, Mustang?" he sniggered, bent over as he clutched his sides.

The pile of people sorted themselves out and Edward's commanding officer haughtily dusted himself off. "I did no such thing, Hagaren. I happen to love women, thank you very much."

"Could have fooled me," the younger Alchemist guffawed, tears of laughter in his eyes.

Havoc scratched his head and glanced at his commanding officer with a sly grin. "Why _did_ you pick a closet, sir?" he asked, nudging a smirking Breda in the belly with his elbow.

Mustang sighed theatrically. "It was the least likely place to find me, and it worked, didn't it?" he asked somewhat testily. "I waited _fifteen_ minutes before the Alphonse showed up first!"

Edward's gold eyes swiveled incredulously to his younger brother. The suit of armor shrugged with an embarrassed chuckle. "It _was_ unlikely," he said.

"Keh," the older Elric griped. A crafty grin curved his lips, and Mustang was instantly wary.

"Hagaren?" he asked cautiously.

The colonel's subordinate took off down the hallway in the direction of his office. "Wait 'til I tell Hawkeye-chuui you like _women_!"

Mustang's team burst out laughing as the colonel blanched. They all knew the two liked each other and even covertly dated, though they never once publically mentioned it.

The Flame Alchemist took off after the Fullmetal Alchemist. "Wait, Hagaren! Damn it, come back!"

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Chuui – First Lieutenant

Taisa – Colonel

Hagaren – Roy's abbreviation of Edward's full title, "Hagane no Renkinjutsushi" – Fullmetal Alchemist

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Author's Note: Started this months ago, but lost interest. Inspired by _Catch as Catch Can_ by Demus with the game concept of Sardines. I simply wanted to have some fun Roy and Ed interaction without the stuffiness of the miltary. I hope you enjoyed it.

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Completed: 14.07.2014


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